Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thanks, Angie.

Nail salons are an intimidating place!
Ya know, you walk in and everyone stops
........and stares at you.
"oh hi what you liiike?"
"I uhm..I uh..pedicure. I.. I.. I would 'liiike' a pedicure"
Now every snobby, tropical nails regular is like 'what does this chick have a st st st-udder?
"pick color you liiike"
okay okay color, right..now you're all paranoid you're going to pick the wrong color, you wonder if dang President's wife sitting over there has a trade mark on one of these, you're all checking the labels..
You wanna look like you're actually doing something other than wondering if you had any of that broccoli left in your teeth from lunch..
whatever.
So ANGIE sits you down in this big comfy massage chair.
This chair is awkward for three reasons.
okay, #1 its like a dadgum thrown (which is so fine because I'm a princess), but now you got this foreign chick is rubbing your feet, and legs when you remember you forgot to shave your legs this morning....and last week.
So basically you feel even more awkward because you're thinking she thinks you're dirty
Now #2,you have to deal with this dang remote, the one that is bigger than your freaking arm. You dont know what the hell button to push because you know if you push that ONE wrong button its going to start reason number #3...
"tapping"................................
-.-
(this is 'the look' for you that are unfamiliar with such icon.)
man that freggin thing gets going and you instantly sit up because its causing you to shimmy like Shakira.
Well now you feel overly awkward and the tiniest bit scandals because of the way you've got your goodies shimmying all over the place in front of the
Michelle Obama and all these sweet foreigners.
No wonder American's have such a bad rep!!
THE NAIL SALON SHIMMY
Now 'Angie' has to put on her latex gloves on to rub my feel as she begins to whisper in N.S.G. (nail salon gossip)...
of course I don't know, but I would assume my responses would be something like...
"COME ON NOW ANGIE!!! It's winter time, I know its been too long since I have been here..hey, hey..now come on, NO Genuis did not call me,
they're not that long!!"
So paint goes on, cool, great, thanks Ang.
(yeah, we're on a half-first-American-name basis now
Now wants you to waddle like a old, pregnant, penguin , barefoot across the salon's floor.
So I spray this suckers down and jet out the door, I've had enough. Catch ya on the flip side Ang ;)

Tell me,
am I the only one that can't relax while getting a pedicure?

Counting Down, Day 55


Psalm 55:13-14, But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshipers.